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    Look me in the eyes (or somewhere nearby) and tell me the truth.

    Confident speakers connect with their audiences through sustained eye contact. Audiences see this direct, protracted eye contact as conveying higher status and comfort. Scientific evidence suggests that eye contact invokes an “approach motivation” that invites those connected via their eye contact to want to be with each other more. In the West, we have sayings like “look me in the eyes and tell me the truth” or “eyes are the windows to your soul.” Also, you know that the lack of good eye contact or, worse yet, rapidly darting glances makes you appear nervous, deceptive or both. READ MORE

      Consider Questions: A Speaker’s Best Tool

      Think of questions as the Swiss Army knife of presenting.

      What communication tool can you use to make your next presentation more effective and engaging? The answer is … a question. Questions are incredibly versatile tools. Think of questions as the Swiss Army knife of presenting. A well-timed question can accomplish myriad communication tasks, such as building intrigue, inviting audience engagement, helping you remember what to say and even calming your anxiety. READ MORE

        Make Public Speaking Your Super Power in the New Year: Tips for managing speaking anxiety

        The arrival of a new year provides a great opportunity to take on new challenges and address long-standing phobias. And for most of us, the fear of speaking in public reigns supreme. So as you create your goals for this New Year, I invite you to resolve to manage the fear you likely feel when presenting in high stakes communication situations (e.g., presentations, meetings, panels, etc.). READ MORE

          How to Overcome Your Terror of Making an Off-the-Cuff Speech

          Excited to have collaborated with the Wall Street Journal on this article that offers guidance to those wishing to hone or improve their spontaneous speaking.

          The boss turns to you in a meeting and asks: What do you think? Or asks you to deliver spontaneous remarks or make a toast at an office gathering. Do you freeze on the spot? Ramble endlessly? Break into a nervous sweat?

          Impromptu pitches, toasts and talks far outnumber planned presentations in the workplace. Such challenges strike terror in the hearts of one in four Americans, making them more daunting than snakes, stalkers or spiders, according to Chapman University’s annual fear survey.

          New research offers strategies for controlling anxiety over public speaking and turning it to your advantage. It’s a skill experts say can be mastered with a little emotional intelligence, and some practice structuring your responses in clear, simple ways.

          Performing poorly can do serious career damage. Matt Abrahams, a lecturer in organizational behavior at Stanford University’s Graduate School of Business, saw a former co-worker on a previous job deliver a strong presentation. During the ensuing Q&A session, however, “he froze, and his answers were contradictory and rambling,” Mr. Abrahams says. His reputation damaged, the man soon left the company.

          “People get overwhelmed. They’re flooded with ideas and don’t know which path to take,” says Ben Decker, chief executive of Decker Communications, a San Francisco consulting and training firm. Some worry so much about performing perfectly that they are paralyzed by fear of failure. Others try to call up mental lists of facts or points, or fret about whether they are making a good impression rather than getting their message across.

          Unraveling all that requires emotional-intelligence skills that can be learned. Panicky thinking can cause what researchers call cognitive interference, eclipsing the brain’s ability to think and reason, according to a recent review of 22 studies on workplace anxiety in the Journal of Applied Psychology. It also can cause emotional exhaustion that can lead to indiscreet behavior, such as trying to cover up your embarrassment by telling a bad joke.

          Monitoring your anxiety before it mounts to debilitating levels and redirecting your thoughts to the task at hand can improve performance, according to the review. Interpreting the anxiety as an energizing force and telling yourself, “I am excited,” leads off-the-cuff speakers to be seen by listeners as more confident and persuasive, according to a 2014 study cited in the review.

          Shift your focus toward your listeners and away from yourself, says Mr. Abrahams, a principal in BoldEcho Communication Solutions of Palo Alto, Calif. “Rather than striving for greatness, challenge yourself to just accomplish the task at hand,” he says. Lay the groundwork for an emotional connection with the audience by starting with a positive emotion, such as, “I was really excited when you asked that.”

          Orsula Knowlton, president and co-founder of Tabula Rasa HealthCare Inc., faced daily demands to speak extemporaneously in 2016, when she helped take the Moorestown, N.J., company public. A pharmacist by training, she fielded questions from analysts and investors about Tabula Rasa, a health-care technology company that specializes in medication risk management. “That was a huge learning curve for me,” Dr. Knowlton says. “You’re under so much stress.”

          When answering investor questions, Orsula Knowlton, president and co-founder of Tabula Rasa HealthCare, aims to keeps her responses succinct and clear. Photo: Donna Connor

          At a recent investor conference, Dr. Knowlton sat under a spotlight on stage for 30 minutes, answering questions without notes. She focused on the audience, she says, asking herself, “What are people waiting to hear from you?” She summoned positive emotions by thinking, “I’m grateful that they asked the question.” And she kept her answers succinct and clear by organizing them around three questions: Where did we come from? Why are we here? And where are we going?

          Mr. Abrahams recommends using a three-part framework for structuring off-the-cuff remarks. Three steps are easy to remember and can help get your points across without rambling. One approach is to state the problem, describe the solution and summarize the benefits, he says. Another is to use a “what, so what, now what?” mental road map—stating the issue or topic, explaining why it matters and laying out next steps.

          With coaching from Mr. Abrahams, Marty Neese uses both setups when answering questions from potential partners about the startup he co-founded, Nuvosil. The Oslo, Norway, firm recycles silicon waste from the solar industry. The frameworks help him keep his answers short but complete. “I’m just getting to the point and stripping it down to the bare essentials,” Mr. Neese says.

          Marty Neese, co-founder of Nuvosil, simplifies explanations of his company’s goals by addressing the questions: What’s the problem? What’s the solution? And what are the benefits? Photo: Danny Turner

          Practice speaking off the cuff, Mr. Decker says. Speak up in meetings, volunteer to give toasts or step up to the mic to ask a question at a conference. Use the skills in conversations around the dinner table. “Treat every opportunity as a practice round,” he says. Like professional athletes, the best are ready to go at any time.

          One government employee walked onto an elevator and found herself alone with the new head of her agency, says Lynne Waymon, who conducted communications training for employees at the agency. Instead of seizing the chance to introduce herself and say something about her work, she froze and stood side by side with her new boss in awkward silence. Later, she thought of things she could have said to make a good impression, says Ms. Waymon, CEO of Contacts Count, a Newtown, Pa., consulting firm.

          “You have to be prepared to be spontaneous,” Ms. Waymon says. She tells clients to develop a positive story about their jobs or roles. When asked to speak, strive for a warm emotional connection by imagining a string connecting them with each listener in the room, she says. Strive to make the strings taut with excitement and positive energy.

          Be aware of your body language says Traci Brown, a Boulder, Colo., speaker and author on body language. Like tells in poker, shifty eyes, fidgety feet or a wide, nervous grin can telegraph to listeners that you’re nervous or, worse yet, that you’re lying.

          After making a speech at a convention, Laurie Guest was taken aback by off-topic questions from an interviewer during a follow-up Q&A session. Although her heart was pounding, she struck a confident, friendly pose, smiling, nodding and leaning toward the interviewer with her back straight, says Ms. Guest, a DeKalb, Ill., speaker and trainer.

          The positive body language kept the exchange friendly in tone and gave her more energy to come up with succinct answers, she says. “If your body language is open and agreeable, you’ll feel that way.”

          Tips for becoming a confident public speaker:

          • Assume you’ll be asked to speak and always be ready.
          • Have in mind a simple three-part structure for your response.
          • Practice answering questions in informal settings, such as around the dinner table.
          • Be aware of your body language under stress and avoid misleading tells.
          • Treat your anxiety as a normal response and tell yourself: I’m excited.
          • Focus on what listeners want and need to know, rather than on yourself.
          • Speak in a conversational tone and avoid rushing.
          • Strive to convey information and meaning rather than to perform perfectly.
          • Ask trusted colleagues or mentors for feedback on how to improve.

            Don’t worry…Be App-y: Apps and tools to hone and develop confident, clear, & engaging communication skills

            Whether you’re presenting at a wedding or in a meeting, pitching or protesting, speaking online or in person, we can all benefit from honing our communication skills. There is no magic to getting better, though. Like improving at a sport, you have to focus on repetition, reflection, and feedback. Books, videos, coaches, and support organizations serve as a essential starting place in helping you become a better communicator. In addition, you now have access to a number of apps and digital tools that can reinforce and extend what you learn as you strive to become a more confident, clear, and engaging communicator. Below, I identify several useful apps/tools and highlight specific features that I believe can be very instructive. [Note: Many of these apps/tools are very robust and have extensive abilities beyond what I mention, including tutorials and examples.] Two clear benefits exist from working with apps/tools like these:
            1. These apps make you aware of your habitual communication behaviors and help you develop skills that you can choose to invoke based on what is needed in the moment.
            2. These apps bolster your confidence in communicating in high stakes situations, such as interviews, sales calls, all hands meetings, conferences, etc.
            Repetition. Practice and desensitization are essential to building and honing communication skills. These two apps serve to guide your practice and help you simulate high stakes situations. -Virtual Speech provides you with a virtual audience to practice in front of. While wearing VR goggles, you select one of several speaking environments (e.g., a large auditorium, an interview, a small conference venue) and audience type (e.g., engaged, disinterested, etc.). From here, you are free to communicate while seeing a simulated 360 degree environment — audience in front, screen behind you, etc.. The tool even allows you to upload your PowerPoint slides so when you gesture towards your slide, you can actually see it.

            -Rhetoric the public speaking game is a fun, creative, two-player game that helps you practice using different communication devices, such as analogies, stories, quotes, etc. Patterned after a board game version, you roll a die and move around the app's board. You are provided with either a question to respond to or a topic for a speech along with a particular rhetorical device to use.

            Reflection. Communication habits die hard and awareness building is a critical first step to making meaningful change and progress. The following five apps provide useful, personalized data to show you what you are doing or not doing.

            -Orai, LikeSo, Ummo, Ambit and Voice Vibes help with vocal delivery by giving you specific information about your word choice, pacing, pauses, variation, and tone. With regard to word choice, these tools identify disfluencies ("um's" and "uhs"), filler words ("like," "so," "right"), and at least one even allows you to program desired terminology to keep track of (think: new product names or acronyms to define).

            Feedback. Beyond your own reflection, third party insight can really catalyze communication skills development. The tools mentioned below represent two approaches to providing external communication feedback.

            -Quantified communication takes your securely uploaded videos and by leveraging machine learning provides you with a detailed report on your presentation and presenting as well as a comparison to a benchmark of your choice (e.g., fortune 500 CEOs, MBA students, etc.). Your feedback is presented in specific categories including, confidence, persuasion, trustworthiness, etc. To avoid analysis paralysis, you are also provided guidance on which areas to focus to improve your overall rating.

            -Wipster, Rehearsal.com, and GOReact allow you to upload a video and then have others — peers, mentors, coaches/teachers — type in or video/audio record feedback that is displayed at that specific location in your presentation. That is, you get time stamped feedback that you see in real time when watching your recording. You can see the feedback itemized and jump specifically to that portion of your presentation if you wish.

            When used in conjunction with direct coaching and instruction, these apps can accelerate and deepen your communication skill development. With a little effort and persistence, you can make big strides in your communication effectiveness by using these innovative apps and tools.

              Don’t worry…Be App-y: Apps and tools to hone and develop confident, clear, & engaging communication skills

              Whether you’re presenting at a wedding or in a meeting, pitching or protesting, speaking online or in person, we can all benefit from honing our communication skills. There is no magic to getting better, though. Like improving at a sport, you have to focus on repetition, reflection, and feedback. Books, videos, coaches, and support organizations serve as a essential starting place in helping you become a better communicator. In addition, you now have access to a number of apps and digital tools that can reinforce and extend what you learn as you strive to become a more confident, clear, and engaging communicator. READ MORE

                Learn How to be Confident During Interviews: Podcast by Angela Copeland with Guest Matt Abrahams

                Episode 181 is live! This week, we talk with Matt Abrahams in San Francisco, CA. Matt teaches Strategic Communication courses at Stanford University’s Graduate School of Business. He is also the co-founder of Bold Echo, a Silicon Valley-based company that helps executives to be better communicators. On today’s episode, Matt shares:
                • What we can do to reduce our anxiety from public speaking
                • How to be more present in a job interview
                • How body languages impacts a job interview
                • What to do if you’re asked to give a presentation during a job interview
                You can also download the podcast from Apple Podcasts or Stitcher.